Deep listening is key to understanding and developing an awesome relationship with someone, both at work and at home. When we listen we want to consider our motivations - we want to listen openly in order to learn and understand the other person instead of listening in order to fulfil a goal we have that the other person doesn't share. ## Levels of Listening **Level 1:** The listener creates a safe environment in which difficult, complex, or emotional issues can be discussed. **Level 2:** The listener clears away distractions like phones and laptops, focusing attention on the other person and making appropriate eye-contact. (This behavior not only affects how we are perceived as the listener; it immediately influences the listener’s _own_ attitudes and inner feelings. Acting the part changes how we feel inside. This in turn makes us a better listener.) **Level 3:** The listener seeks to understand the substance of what the other person is saying. They capture ideas, ask questions, and restate issues to confirm that their understanding is correct. **Level 4:** The listener observes nonbverbal cues, such as facial expressions, perspiration, respiration rates, gestures, posture, and numerous other subtle body language signals. It is estimated that 80% of what we communicate comes from these signals. It sounds strange to some, but we listen with our eyes as well as our ears. **Level 5:** The listener increasingly understands the other person’s emotions and feelings about the topic at hand, and identifies and acknowledges them. The listener empathizes with and validates those feelings in a supportive, nonjudgmental way. **Level 6:** The listener asks questions that clarify assumptions the other person holds and helps the other person to see the issue in a new light. This could include the listener injecting some thoughts and ideas about the topic that could be useful to the other person. However, good listeners never highjack the conversation so that they or their issues become the subject of the discussion. Each of the levels builds on the others; thus, if we’ve been criticized (for example) for offering solutions rather than listening, it may mean we need to attend to some of the other levels (such as clearing away distractions or empathizing) before our proffered suggestions can be appreciated. (Clipped from [this HBR Article](https://getpocket.com/explore/item/what-great-listeners-actually-do))